


How Filthy and Rich met Catflap

by Postsynthcomrade5



Category: Filthy Rich and Catflap
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Celebrities, London, M/M, Moving On, Show Business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14279289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postsynthcomrade5/pseuds/Postsynthcomrade5
Summary: In the middle of the 1980s Eddie Monsoon was a sell out right out rehab until he decided to change his name and work with one of the upcoming stars in British show business.





	How Filthy and Rich met Catflap

It was the middle of the 1980s, Light Entertainment was popular on the small screen and Thatcher ism was rising.

For Eddie Monsoon he was trying to find his spark in show business again even though he wasn’t that popular in the first place.

Eddie had recently “left” hospital after attempting rehab before realizing he was tired of being Tiny Townsend’s pawn.

Because of faked suicide controversy he recently took up the name Edward Catflap instead so he could start a new leaf.

Passing by the local theatre Edward saw there was a production of Aladdin being shown which he decided to see, usually he wouldn’t care about the same low budget kids’ entertainment saccharine that he once took part in but he had a hangover and wanted to spend his money on something different for a change.

He bought a ticket and sat down the actor playing Aladdin looked like a toffee nosed teen idol wannabe with an outdated bob haircut wearing a decorative cheongsam acting with one of the most ear bleeding and irritating voices Eddie had ever heard in his life.

Yet something drawn something to him, after a brief negative flashback to when he himself was a kids show presenter he awoke to see the scene where Aladdin and the princess character were showing their love through a slow dance, he could see the actor wasn’t obnoxious all the time as this was a more subtle quiet moment for the Aladdin character only for “Gold” by Spandau Ballet to come on when it got too cheesy for Catflap.

However he got time to catch the Aladdin actor backstage the name was Richie Rich

Richie was taken aback by the complete stranger in a suit in his dressing room then again it’s not like Richie had any good security so there was nothing stopping Eddie.

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my dressing room?”

Well, I’m Edward was about to explain before Richie spoke again

“Don’t tell me, your one of jimmy’s goons? aren’t you well you can tell him for the last time I’M NOT GOING ON TOP OF THE POPS  It’s a bloody scam I’ve heard stories, awful stories so piss off or I’ll call the police”

Edward didn’t like how rude Richie came across as for a bad first impression Edward shouted back in his drunk gravelly sounding voice

“I do not work for that bastard Jimmy, I don’t even watch the top of the pops I’m asleep by the time it ends, I’m not scamming you, in fact, I’m quite interested in you and I’m not doing anything dodgy”

Richie calmed down and replied

“Well thank goodness for that and what do you mean interested in me are you a journalist looking for another star to interview”? Richie smiled feeling flattered

“Nope, I’m not a journalist but I did once do some news reports in South Africa anyways I would like to work with you, I’ve had a history of Theatre and I’d like to get back into the business again somehow after my wife from Germany left me and going through years of rehab”

“Alright Alright cut the sob story, Morrissey, I’ll let you work for me RALPH FILTHY YOU LAZY TWAT GET OVER HERE!”

Suddenly a stumbling sleazy man with styled hair and a colorful dated disco suit walked in with a cigarette in his hand

“Daughter, what have I told you shouting at your mother just worsens the sensitive head condition I have called a hangover, anyway what did you call me for? did someone mistake you for a queer again?”

Richie blushed feeling embarrassed

“No filthy that never bloody happened I recently met this nice bloke who said he wants to work for me what job do you think we could give him?”

Filthy Ralph said

“Well I didn’t know I was adopting someone today so Miss what’s your name?”

Slightly disgusted by the pimp like behavior Filthy Ralph was expressing he answered with

“Catflap, Edward Catflap”

“Never heard of you sweetheart but we’ll call you Eddie”  Filthy replied

“so what job do you want to do for me?” Richie asked

Catflap explained

“Well, in the past I’ve been an actor, kids show entertainer and news reporter”

Filthy Ralph had an idea 

“that resume sounds like Richie’s and considering that Richie has no minder then that’s a job you could fulfill”

Richie was offended 

“MINDER Filthy I’m too old for a minder”

“Well you can’t visit mumsy, can you? she’s busy with her business” Ralph reminded Richie

Richie started to sob “Don’t remind me and yes Edward you can be my minder, you can share my house and you can even join me on any gigs I get”

"Well that sounds like a good plan" Edward Catflap replied shaking Richie's hand 

 


End file.
